He Said That She Said That You Said That I Said
by Keys2theKingdom
Summary: Basically, this girl likes that girl, who likes this boy, but he likes her brother. And the brother likes this other girl AND this other boy, who both like this guy who's dating this girl, but she's cheating on him with this teacher...and so on.
1. 01 Girlfriend

**Hey guys! Thanks for clicking on this fanfic! It's a collection of vingettes more than anything, although I will _try_ to keep in vague chronological order. Um...there are seriously a TON of pairings, I could have gone on for much, much longer in the description. And some of the pairings weren't even connected to that line, and then there are more characters that show up later and mess everything up...**

**So yeah. Hope you enjoy this ridiculously complicated story. I'm probably going to upload 5 chaps at a time since they're all so short, so enjoy the five you have now!**

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><p>Amelia Jones, Amy to her friends, A.J. to everyone else, was pumped. The adrenaline running through her system right now was more than she'd felt when she was two strikes out on the last game of the season, last batter up to plate with the championship resting on her shoulders. Because, to Amelia Jones, there was only one thing more important than baseball.<p>

Boys. More specifically, Arthur Kirkland. And today was the day she was finally going to do it. She was finally going to ask him out.

"Yo, A.J.! Mom says to get your ass downstairs for breakfast!"

"Fuck off buttface! Leave me alone, geez!" Amy glared through the door at her brother, imagining his stupid face just outside it.

"You fuck off! Mom says either come down or starve, she doesn't have any money to give ya so you can eat at school."

"Today is the most important day of my _life_ Alfred. I have to look PERFECT. And if that means skipping breakfast, then I can deal!" Amy went back to fixing her hair. She could glare at her brother later, but her hair needed attention _now._

"Uh-huh." The door creaked slightly as Alfred leaned against it. "What is this? The…fifth 'most important day of your _life__'_," He mimicked her excited tone in a ridiculously high voice. "this year?"

"Get off my door fatass, you'll break it. And I didn't know about today the last times, so I was telling the truth then too. So ha."

"Whatever. So, what is it this time? Baseball seasons' over, so...a guy? Am I right, or am I right?"

Amy clenched her teeth, eying the baseball bat she had set aside for brother-pounding a couple years ago. As satisfying as it would be…she might break a nail. Or worse, mess up her hair. "None of your business. Now go stuff your face."

"Whatever sis."

Amy gave her reflection one last glance-over-she looked good. Arthur was as good as hers, she knew it.


	2. 02 I'm Gay

It was official; Arthur Kirkland was the unluckiest guy on _Earth_. Nothing could ever go his way for very long without something completely unexpected and slightly ridiculous happening to him.

Like for example, his best friend's little sister asking him out. Seriously, where had _that_ come from?

Arthur liked Amy, he really did, and if things were different he might have even thought she was attractive. But honestly he had been too busy drooling over her older brother for the past three years to even look twice at her.

Arthur was a Broadway man. Liked singing showtunes. Made of skittles and glitter. Sexually special. _Gay_. And very much horribly in love with Alfred F. Jones.

And now, backed into a corner of the library, he had to gently explain this to poor little Amy.

This would be much easier if he wasn't still in the closet. And if her top weren't so distracting. The way that thing was cut it was obviously _meant_ to be distracting, but it was making Arthur more uncomfortable than anything.

"Um…Arthur? Are you okay?" She sounded hurt, and a little bit irritated. Arthur knew her well enough to know that irritated normally lead to being bludgeoned over the head with a baseball bat. At least to him that's what it meant. Amy kind of scared the shit out of him.

"Fine!" Arthur took a deep breath. "It's just that…I'm sorry. No. I can't uh…go out with you."

"Why not?" Amy looked like she was about to cry, but held it in. Arthur was infinitely grateful. "Do you not like me or something?"

"No! I…uh…like you Amy. Y-You're a really nice girl and all, but I…" Arthur gulped nervously, mentally cursing himself. God, he was such rubbish when it came to stuff like this.

"But what? Am I ugly? Do you think I'm _fat_? …Or is there someone else you like? You like someone else don't you?"

"N-no! Of course not!"

At that moment, the library door opened. Arthur's eyes flicked over when he heard Alfred's loud obnoxious laugh, and weren't at all keen on the idea of flicking away.

He stared at Alfred's smile, temporarily forgetting Amy.

"That backstabbing Asian _bitch_!"

"What?" It took Arthur a few minutes to process what was happening, and by the time he had Amy was already making a scene, screaming at her best friend and using the kind of language that would shock even a high school student. "A-Amy! Calm down!"

"I will not calm down! This little-" Arthur clamped a hand over her mouth, dragging her away and out of the library, apologizing to poor Sakura—who was still standing shell-shocked—the entire time.

Oh God, he was going to have a hard time explaining this later.

Finally, once Amy seemed to have given up the struggle, he let her go.

"What the _hell_ is wrong with you? Are you _mad_?"

"Fuck yeah I'm mad! That stupid slut stole you from me!"

"That's not what I meant by mad! Amy, I don't like Sakura! I couldn't care _less_ about her!"

"Liar! I saw you! You were looking _right at her_!"

"Amy, for God's sake, I was looking at _Alfred_! I'm _GAY_!" At that, Arthur clamped a hand over his mouth, blushing hard. He hadn't exactly meant say that.

Amy looked at him like he had suddenly grown a second head. "You're…gay."

Arthur nodded, resisting the urge to slam his head against the lockers lining the wall.

"…How gay?"

"Enough to where I think that you _really_ need to find a jacket." Arthur fidgeted uncomfortably. Amy turned pink, crossing her arms against her chest.

"Well…fuck. That's…interesting. So you uh…like my brother?"

"Yeah."

"…How much?"

Arthur blushed again. "A lot."

"Well…that's…"

"Yeah."

"…Al doesn't know does he? About the gay thing?"

Arthur sighed, shaking his head. "H-He'd freak out. He's not really homophobic or anything…but he's…he's a straight guy. And he thinks like one. It's just…not worth it."

Amy patted his shoulder awkwardly, not sure what to say.

Arthur sighed again. He really was the unluckiest guy on Earth.


	3. 03 Your Love is My Drug

Lovino and Caterina glared daggers at each other, neither listening to Antonio ramble as the three of them walked through the park, each holding the ice cream that Antonio had bought them. Both of them were thinking the same thing.

_Back off. He's _mine_._

"…and then there were turtles _everywhere_!" Antonio laughed, temporarily snapping the two out of their silent argument. "Wasn't that a funny story?"

"Tch, no. That was the stupidest story I've ever heard." Lovino looked away grumpily, taking a bite of his ice cream.

"Why the hell should I give a shit about your stupid turtles? It wasn't funny at all." Caterina turned the other way, glaring at a tree.

"Aw, come on. Lovi, Rina, is something wrong? Why are _mis tomates_ so angry with me?"

"I am _not_ a tomato you bastardo!"

They both stomped off, leaving a confused Antonio behind. Glancing between the two, who were going in opposite directions, he ran after Caterina.

"Wait up Rina! Tell me why you and Lovi are so mad!"

Caterina smirked internally. Oh yeah, she was rubbing this in her stupid brother's face later.

"I'm always fucking mad you retard."

"Aw, don't be that way Rina! _Por__ favor_ tell Antonio what he did wrong?" Antonio grinned, not even fazed by the verbal abuse.

"Stop talking about yourself in the third person dipshit. It's stupid."

Antonio chuckled, cooing something about talking in third person being cool.

What a bastard.


	4. 04 American Idiot

Alfred had saved money for _years_ to buy his car. And finally, barely a day after he'd gotten his license, his mom and dad pitched in the rest of money for him to buy a secondhand pick-up.

He named her Maria. Her dark red paint may have been nicked in more than a couple places, and her radio may only work half the time, and she might've had absolutely _horrible_ shocks—but Alfred loved her.

And hopefully, those little problems would be fixed soon. Alfred's mom had been hinting that she was planning on getting the shocks fixed for his next birthday, and Alfred was saving for a new radio and paintjob.

Maria deserved to be perfect after all.

And maybe Alfred was a bit obsessive over his car, but he couldn't help it.

Because not even a month after he had gotten her, his parents divorced. That day at the secondhand dealership was the last time he saw them happy together.

It was silly, he knew. A car wasn't going to fix his parent's marriage—especially not a year after their divorce. It wasn't going to change the fact that his dad had been sleeping with his co-worker for nearly half a year before he finally came clean to his wife and did nothing as his family fell apart around him. It wasn't going to change the fact that Alfred's dad now lived somewhere in South Carolina, and that all Alfred heard of him anymore was a child support check once a month for him and A.J..

Still, pampering Maria made him happy.


	5. 05 Here

"I just can't believe how _stupid_ I was Saki!" Amy slammed her face into Sakura's pillow, frustrated.

"Calm down Amy-chan. How were you to have known?" Sakura calmly tucked her hair behind her ear, listening to her friend rant patiently and offering encouragement. "Meltdowns" like this tended to happen often.

"I know but…Oh my God I still feel so dumb. I mean really? He's gay? _How_ did I miss that? And you're just being so great about this, seriously. I sooooo wouldn't talk to me if I had flipped out on myself like that. I would think I was a total bitch who's stupid and asks out gay guys."

Sakura smiled slightly, amused as Amy continued rambling. Babbling like this seemed to be therapeutic for her, and Sakura could see her calming down the more she got into her rant.

"Ugh." Amy fell back against Sakura's bed. "Thanks for letting me stay over. I don't even want to see my brother's stupid face right now." Sakura nodded.

"Speaking of brothers, where's yours? He was supposed to be back before school started, wasn't he?" Amy looked at Sakura, who shrugged.

"Apparently his friend forgot to buy the tickets. They should be here before the end of the week though."

"He forgot to buy tickets."

"That is what Kiku's friend claims."

"Dude, he totally did it on purpose."

"Most likely."

Amy burst out laughing. "And your bro doesn't think so? He actually believes that this guy forgot to buy tickets?"

"I doubt Kiku believes him, but he is willing to let it go."

"Whoever this guy is, I like him. He sounds like a nut."

"You could say that he is…odd."

They talked some more, laughing about their brothers and Amy's failed attempt to ask out Arthur this morning.

"Seriously though Saki, sorry about freaking out like that."

"It's fine Amy-chan."

"Naw, it's not. 'Cause I know you'd never pull a bitch move like that. I don't even know what the hell I was thinking."

"Nothing most likely."

Amy snorted. "No, probs not." She hugged Sakura. "Thanks Saki, you're best. Seriously."

Sakura decided to ignore the way her heart skipped a beat when Amy hugged her like that.


End file.
